Church of the Redeemer
          Baptist Church

Hey Everyone,

Thanks for checking out the link to read a bit of my story.

You know how some of the time we can feel like no-one really gets what we are feeling? But more people than we realise really do know how you are feeling and I do too.

I recently faced one of the hardest moments of my life and at times found myself within moments of not only making the decision to end my life but almost attempting it too.  I can tell you that  I have been a committed Christian for over 10 years now and the journey has not been easy as I am sure many other followers of Christ would admit but yet I and so many others live to tell the tale purely by grace.

Like others, I have faced great loss and tragedy in my life over the years but this year was different. For some time I had a real heart to serve the Lord and was excited about my first post as a church leader. Being three years in now, I can still say that I still feel exactly the same way and that is a desire to serve the Lord.

This year I watched things fall apart right in front of me knowing there was nothing I could do about it, people were hurting, I was hurting but in it all........I knew that what was happening needed to be happening. But yet you feel so helpless, you want to stop it, you want it to end but yet at the same time you know that it is something you need to face. After it all, I can say that the scars are still there and I am not the person I used to be but I am stronger because of it......... With the right help and Christ by my side I did overcome it........ and whatever you are facing........YOU CAN TOO.

That is why I set up the WHAT IF YOU WAITED - Suicide Prevention Project because experiencing this stuff myself, I wanted others to know that they are not alone, that you can overcome what you are feeling and facing right now and that it doesn't have to be the end of your story. There can be a new and/or a different chapter for your life and that the scars that you carry.....can be scars of hope for others.....that they too can overcome.

The first step to overcome what you are going through is to talk about it……Let me encourage you and say  that it will get easier but it will take time  but talking about it to  those you trust or those who can help you really is the first step forward. This doesn’t mean you are weak,  it doesn’t mean that you will always feel this way but talking means that you are taking that step which shows great courage…….

Talking about it really helps and if you don't  feel you have anyone that can talk to right now, then praying is like talking but to Jesus. I don't know if you've seen the signs around that say TRY PRAYING.  Praying is like having a conversation with Jesus about stuff and He loves it when we do talk to Him about anything. So this may be a starting point to just talk about the stuff that you are struggling with and it may help you to then take the next step to talk to others.

 If you are a what we are called to is not easy. We face situations that can break us, we give all of ourselves to the people we serve, we face circumstances that we cannot change.  There is a lot we carry and through it all we hope to not hurt others or the Lord but we do and we do become hurt ourselves too by others. Sometimes we need to be reminded and encouraged that we are not perfect, that we cannot please everyone, that we don't have to fight every battle and that it's ok to talk about the broken stuff so let’s talk more.

If you know Christ in your life,  in all that you may be facing right now, know that even though it doesn't seem like Jesus IS with you. Keep  praying for He is listening…..He is walking right beside you. It's just that sometimes we have to go through the fire to see the beauty. I know it's hard, I know every inch of your being is tired and wants to give up but you can do this..........His grace is sufficient.

To all who are reading this know that I will be praying for you, because your life matters  to me.......and it matters to more people than you can see right now.......oh.....and one more thing…..You are deeply loved by God.

I am not a qualified professional that can offer advice but simply one who wants to see lives changed where suicide no longer feels like the only option and so my prayers are with you and remember – talking is not a sign of weakness but of courage so let's talk more to those who can help us to overcome our brokenness. 

Take care and God bless


Revd. Kelly Wellman

Church of the Redeemer
Birmingham, UK

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What If You Waited Leaflet


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